Leader Pt 2

The thing about leadership though is that when you show up fully in a room, without apology, without people pleasing, acknowledging that there are things, people, situations, and styles that don’t work for you… there’s in conflict.  Which is difficult for a recovering pleaser.  When you sit back and assess and judge and watch, you can stay pretty safe.  When you’re putting yourself, you opinions, your directions, your truth out there… get ready for some occasional challenges and pushbacks.  When I come into a room fully in my truth, not everyone likes that or agrees with it.  That’s new for me.  I’m used to being the person that everyone likes even if they’re not sure why they like me.  And I’m used to at least pretending to like and accept everyone.  When you show up genuine, that security falls away.  This is a new and exhilarating challenge.  Here, at the beginning, I’m stuck and obsessing on some of the social interactions that come with putting myself out there and taking these risks.  This is the beginning, I’m not steady on my feet.  I’m pretty sure that with more practice and new habits, it won’t feel this unsteady.  But for now, it’s like the floor fell out.  I’m going to get my bearings.  But I’m marking this time and the newness of it.  Altogether, it’s fucking great to show up and be true to myself.