created instability part 1

this is a larger blog that’s still brewing, but it starts here.

currently, i’m in the middle of several projects at home. i’m trying for better overall feng shui and my pictures are off the wall in most places, tables moved around, books piled, shoes on the table. though this is worse than normal, this is not new for me and i’m starting to wonder about it. i have a habit of putting myself in flux.

i’ve been dealing with some work changes and i keep staring at my schedule, obsessively looking to tweak it until it will make sense after the upcoming changes.

connected to this stuff is the knowledge that i moved all the time as a young kid – i went to 4 schools by the time i was in 5th grade. i didn’t say this was a memory, i don’t really remember a lot about moving, or feeling panicked at the thought of moving. but the knowledge that i moved so much means something here.

now all of these things are connected to my desire to stabilize. that was a goal of mine for this year especially in terms of work. work changes are different than home decor changes but it’s all related to this perpetual in process thing i do all the time. is it good, is it bad? i don’t know.

but it’s got my attention finally. more to come.