End of an Era

So I got laid off.

Here is a set of words that describe the experience: shock, confusion, anger, confusion, bamboozled, pissed off, sad, why, what happens next, is this temporary, why, confusion, angst, rage, processing, I don’t have an office, shock, paralysis, blocked cognitions, side conversations, scrambling, what about my clients, applications, interviews, determination, shock, emotional numbness, survival mode, re-evaluating priorities, more money more hours, am I willing to try something new, thank God I won’t ever see that client again, who am I now, what is this loss, what have I lost, what about my favorite client, what about the groups and programs I was planning, this will never be the same, there is no rebirth or transition, only broken paradigms, this is over, what next, of course I’m gonna make it, I’m always getting back on the path, why is this week so busy when I haven’t gone to work, unemployment, making plans, everything is broken, everything can be fixed, forever a phoenix, this will not break me, this will only make me better.

More to come.

4 thoughts on “End of an Era

  1. Oh man, I actually got fired once from this a dysfunctional work environment that I hated and I remember feeling everything you just wrote – fear mixed with relief. BedraggledandKicking is right, you will get a better job and it will work out but yeah, this feels really shitty right now. Fingers x’d the new opp comes very soon.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s