So I got laid off.
Here is a set of words that describe the experience: shock, confusion, anger, confusion, bamboozled, pissed off, sad, why, what happens next, is this temporary, why, confusion, angst, rage, processing, I don’t have an office, shock, paralysis, blocked cognitions, side conversations, scrambling, what about my clients, applications, interviews, determination, shock, emotional numbness, survival mode, re-evaluating priorities, more money more hours, am I willing to try something new, thank God I won’t ever see that client again, who am I now, what is this loss, what have I lost, what about my favorite client, what about the groups and programs I was planning, this will never be the same, there is no rebirth or transition, only broken paradigms, this is over, what next, of course I’m gonna make it, I’m always getting back on the path, why is this week so busy when I haven’t gone to work, unemployment, making plans, everything is broken, everything can be fixed, forever a phoenix, this will not break me, this will only make me better.
More to come.
Bite Size Love 
Argh. So sorry to read this. I know it doesn’t feel “good” right now. But I would like to echo what you wrote. There is something else out there for you. Something better! Take care, keep us posted.
Thank you, friend. It’s been really rough, but I’m doing my best to get through it and I cherish reminders like these, thanks again. And it’s good to know you’re still around 🙂
Oh man, I actually got fired once from this a dysfunctional work environment that I hated and I remember feeling everything you just wrote – fear mixed with relief. BedraggledandKicking is right, you will get a better job and it will work out but yeah, this feels really shitty right now. Fingers x’d the new opp comes very soon.
Thank you so much! It’s nice to know others have been through these conflicting feelings. This is a difficult place to be. Thanks for the kind words.