If you love something…

I’ve been considering my ideas, creativity, knowledge, intellectual property, and future lately.  A long term goal I have is to start a therapeutic and community-building private practice that focuses on mixed-race identity.  During this year, as the agency I work for faced a lot of financial challenges, I registered an LLC and have been reading business and marketing books, and trying to see what the steps are to get to my goal.  I’ve been very protective of this idea to the point where I’ve only talked to a few close friends about it.  My agency does work that could overlap with my future business, but there is no non-competition clause in the agency, and their intellectual property policies are specific to what I create for them as an agency.  Like I said, I’ve been feeling very protective over my dreams, ideas, and plans. 

I got supervision for this last week and was encouraged not to be so territorial because this could be a time in my life where I experiment, implement, share ideas, gain experience and feedback, make connections, do some trial and error.  I’m not the only person who has or is thinking deeply about mixed-race.  You can find them all over the internet.  I feel like I’m softening a little bit in opening to this idea of not being so territorial and protective about the work I want to do.  I have great opportunities in the near future to start implementing it within my agency, having conversations, getting feedback, eventually putting together groups.  There’s an opportunity to apply for a fellowship which may be right up my alley, allowing me to create things that I could practice at my agency, while retaining my intellectual property with my own funding sources. 

It’s entirely in idea form right now.  And there’s more thinking to be done – I think I will eventually find a balance of individual and agency work.  But I’m feeling closer to the action of releasing my grip, and going out into the world and testing things out.  I can begin to associate my name with mixed-race before I start a company on it.  It’s just a very strange, courageous, scary, risky step for me to take.  For most of my life, my mixed identity had been a sore spot, private, my feelings surrounding it remained secret and shame-based.  Bringing my ideas and thoughts public in an attempt to build community is a big step.  But I’ve done the internal work for a long time.  I don’t want to be self-protective to the point that I don’t step up and voice my desire to build community.  Yet another area of leadership to move forward.  The ideas are not mine alone, the feelings are mine, the fear is mine, the momentum to step up is mine.  Do I have it in me to let the fear and self-protection go in the hopes that community, success, innovation, and creativity will come back to me? 

… Set it free.

2 thoughts on “If you love something…

  1. Thank you for sharing your self-reflection and the seedlings of your dream. I’ll be very much interested in the network you create as I am mixed race too. Good luck to you and please stay in touch!

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