i happened to catch the middle of dr phil today where there was a horrible story about kids being killed by their grandmother. as the segment ended, he gave advice to the surviving parents about how to prepare for the future.
i really liked the part about grieving at different paces and the importance of accepting the way we all grieve. i think the instability of my life in terms of my job, planning for the future, and feeling sadness for a blogger friend who just experienced yet another death in the family, has me feeling sensitive and edgy about grief. listening to some melancholy music tonight sent me into a full on silent wide open mouth sob, just overcome with a wave of the shock again. and i let myself have it. but i instinctively tucked it away after a few minutes and pushed on about my business.
i’m not mourning next to someone, so it’s not about accepting the way they mourn. it’s about accepting the different phases that i go through. all of it is ok. i’m learning to trust that my instincts about grief are exactly what i need.