back to life

today i return to work, a regular schedule, some normalcy.  i feel ok, i’ve learned a lot this week about grief and its waves.  i’m aware that sometimes it will overcome me and at those times i need to just ride it out. 

a couple of times in the last few days i have been surprised by a vision of myself leading group or doing therapy.  that professional identity has seemed so far away.  i can still keep it at bay for a little while longer as this week is an intensive off-site training. 

i’m grateful for the opportunity to add some structure back in, to have a sense of purpose to my days outside of grief.  the last thing my aunt said to me was that it was important for me specifically to stay in the land of the living rather than focus on the death and sickness and sadness.  today i’ll honor her by going to work.  🙂

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