tired

it’s been hard lately to feel like i have anything to write.  i’ve kind of been stuck in my own crabby pants for the past few days.  it has been a very busy time with school, work, and internship.  internship is actually picking up a lot, lots of new clients, more regular group leading, i may have a side project coming up that will take even more time.  thinking about wrapping everything up at school.  i’m just overwhelmed.  being overwhelmed makes me crabby.  trying to keep track of everything on my plate, loose ends, it makes me resentful and angry for the things i usually love.  i’m tired.  last night i slept 11 hours.  instead of being productive this afternoon i slept for another 2 hours.  just strange.  and it shows.  people ask me if i’m ok, why i’m not smiling, if i’m going to be better now… i have mixed feelings about that.  on the one hand i’m thankful that i’m a person who is generally happy and cheerful so that when i’m blah it’s markedly different.  at the same time i resent being expected to be one dimensional happy girl.  everyone goes through their stuff, i wish people were more accepting of all sides of me. 

so.  by being crabby and exhausted, i want to think of the things that i’m thankful for anyway.  my home, having enough money to keep my home, my family, my job, my internship, my friends.  i’ll try to focus on these things, my constants that are there no matter how i feel. 

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